Why would a good liberal Jewish Democrat consider voting for George Bush? It certainly isn't for any old fashioned reasons, such as leadership skills. He doesn't have any. And it can't be for his policies, because I'm not rich, just liberal. If George Bush has any steadfast policies, they certainly aren't going to benefit somebody making less than fifty thousand dollars a year. And it's not for his looks; I'm in no position to judge. So why George? Why not Bill?
Well, that's the point: Bill. He's not qualified. It's not his lack of military service. He knows what it's like to be stuck in the mud without the slightest idea who you are supposed to be shooting at. Of course, Bill Clinton did all of his military service at Oxford. The mud was on the commons and he was shooting pool. But that's appropriate. We certainly wouldn't want some foot soldier who knows what it's like to wet his pants, cowering in a foxhole with the remains of his best friend, running a war. No siree. He might be tempted to think about the real costs of war, chicken out, and not hold one. That won't do. That's not the kind of man we need leading our people. Well, leading those people who aren't smart enough to avoid the draft, like Clinton, or rich enough, like our vice president. We need a man like Bill Clinton to lead poor boys who don't have much hope anyway into battle against those foreign, uh... dirty, uh, well... you know. People whose skin isn't white. We need a man like Clinton. So why not vote for him?
To put it simply, Bill Clinton is not qualified. To be the president. Of this country. He isn't a good enough liar.
That's a requirement for being President of the United States? Yup. Seems to be. And it will continue to be a requirement, just as long as our presidents keep doing things that they need to lie about. Just as long as our presidents are willing to put the interests of themselves and their friends and their business associates above the rest of the country will they need to lie to the majority of us, a majority of the time, as a matter of course. In other words, it looks as though presidential lying is here to stay.
And Bill Clinton is a rotten liar. The issue which crystallized it all, for me, was the marijuana. I don't care that he smoked the stuff. What does it matter? Is it impossible for the vast majority of Americans to distinguish between somebody who blows an occasional joint, and a burnt-out glassy-eyed reeking pothead? Nah. We know. We just don't care. We're used to electing politicians who frequent bars that have Jack Daniels on tap.
And it isn't the fact that marijuana is illegal. We expect our politicians to commit crimes, even major crimes. We elected them because they're so elegantly conscientious about getting away with crime. If they get caught, well... it's down to a formula by now:
You've heard about people who play their Beatles records backwards to find the hidden satanic messages? Me too. Do you know anybody who's actually done it, or anybody who even owns a turntable that can play records backwards? Me either. But I'll tell you what: I play every single tape I buy backwards. I'm still looking for those missing eighteen minutes. Richard Nixon was a damned good liar. But there isn't a single person in the entire country, above the age of three, who believes that Bill Clinton didn't inhale.
And I say that a pathetic liar like Clinton is just not qualified to be president in this day and age, when America needs the best liar it can get. We deserve the best. Because we keep voting for them.
So that's why a good liberal Jewish Democrat would consider voting for George Bush. I won't do it, though, because I believe that George Bush is even more arrogant and alienated from and contemptuous of the average American than Bill Clinton. I simply do not believe that George Bush is a good president or a humane leader. So I'll vote for Bill Clinton. And I'll wish that I hadn't. And George Bush will win anyway. And I'll wish that he hadn't. And it's a damned shame.
Copyright 1992 by Henry W. Farkas